Confession time. I’m scared of spiders. And not just regular “eek, a spider!” scared. Scared like I have nightmares about them. When Tyna and I were roommates, she once caught me standing in the corner of our bedroom in the middle of the night trying to knock down a web that I saw while I was asleep. My husband has also been waken by me bent over the bed and coming toward his head with a wad of tissue, trying to smoosh a spider I saw behind him. He asked me what I was doing and when I told him, he said “what was it, luminous? Go back to sleep!” I stood there for a full minute before I realized I really hadn’t seen a spider…
But in real life, I would never “get” a spider with a tissue. That would involve getting way too close. I recall a time I called a friend who lived across town from me in hopes he would come get a spider for me. He wasn’t home, I asked his roommate who I barely knew. I’ll never forget the tone of his voice “will I come get a spider for you? Uh…no.” But he did stay on the phone with me while he talked me through squishing it with a broom.
I realize I sound nuts, I really do. But the fear takes hold of me and there’s nothing I can do. And I’ve heard it all before “they’re more scared of you then you are of them.” I don’t know, I’m pretty scared. And another classic “But spiders eat bugs!” But I’m not afraid of bugs! Logic just goes out the window when a spider is involved. Ever try to tell someone who’s afraid to fly that they’re more likely to get bit by a shark than be in a plane crash? How’d that work out?
Now in my defense, I haven’t had a spider dream in a few years. And there is only one reason for that, my bug vacuum! I had seen “official” bug vacuums in the Sky Mall in-flight catalogs for years. Problem was they cost about $60 and as much as I thought it was a genius idea, it was never a purchase I wanted to make. Until I was looking for a gift for a friend’s son and came across bug vacuums again. But rather than marketing them towards arachnophobics, they were toys. Complete with “capture” cores, build in magnifiers for viewing and features to safely release the bugs. All that for under $20 bucks, SOLD!
How has this changed my life? Besides ending my nightmares, bug captures now only involve one person-me. The extra long channel allows me to stay a good distance from the spider. And a flip of the magnifier glass keeps it inside the chamber. At which point a little boy would look at it for awhile, say “coooool” then safely release it outside. My release involves a bit of screaming and a toilet flush, but believe me-this is real progress. If you are at all like me, I’m very sorry. But I also highly recommend this product!