New season of Girls, y’all! If you’ve never seen this show, it’s one to watch, but it’s complicated: you don’t watch it because it’s necessarily good, exactly – it’s more like trying to solve a vexing, irritating, yet totally compelling problem. Show runner Lena Dunham has created an insular world of female friendships, rife with fighting, tension, and bouts of mental instability; it’s a show about finding yourself in your twenties, in a simultaneously obnoxious yet strangely authentic way. At any rate, I promise that you will feel much better about your own life after watching. If you feel worse, you should probably just go write your own show, okay?
As we dive into the new season – and our new Girls Recaps – Hannah has stopped shoving cotton swabs into her ear, thank the sweet baby Jesus; Adam has moved into her apartment and is taking care of her, feeding her psych meds like she’s a baby bird. AND her horrid haircut from last year has grown out, leaving her no longer looking like “the little boy on a fancy box of cookies,” as Shosh so aptly puts it.
A peek at what Season 3 will bring…
Hannah is still barista-ing at Ray’s coffeehouse, which sets the stage for the first awkward showdown of the season: Adam vs. his ex, Natalia. Every time I see Natalia, I have flashbacks to the worst sex scene ever, so I was honestly pretty interested to see what Natalia had to say to him. Adam’s come into the shop to get a set of keys from Hannah, because he’s dropped his down a subway grate, and Natalia and her friend (played hysterically by Amy Schumer) confront him. Natalia tries to be subtle at first, but her friend loses it, opening with calling Adam “a big and tall, dumb slice of dog****.” I mean, fair enough, right? As Hannah looks on uncomfortably, Natalia ratchets up the aggression; she gives Hannah the mean-girl scanning look and is unimpressed, seeing as Hannah is wearing her usual frumpy, clashy-pattern duds.
Then Natalia really goes in for the kill: “So you know what you have on your hands here, right? You know that you have an off-the-wagon Neanderthal sex addict sociopath who’s gonna f*** you like he’s never met you and like he’s never loved his own mother.” Adding insult to injury, she tells them, “I hope you two just enjoy your urine-soaked life f****** like the two feral animals that you both know you are. You’re gonna end up with a baby that you don’t know how to care for. You’re gonna f******* kill your kid.” AWKWARD.
In case that wasn’t enough ugly truth for you, we cut to Jessa in rehab. True to form, Jessa is busy being a condescending brat, making everyone in the group hate her while swanning around in long dresses and fuzzy, shapeless sweaters. She calls out one of her fellow rehabbers, Laura (Tastee from Orange is the New Black, YES!) for secretly being gay and says Laura is using the fact that she was molested by her uncle as an “excuse” to do drugs. Jessa is SO awful, you guys. When she’s called to task by the rehab’s director, Jessa says she’s only there because her grandmother will give her rent money and a pair of Uggs if she attends the program.
Meanwhile, Hannah meets with her editor. He is loving her new material and seems accepting of her mental health issues; plus, he teaches her that some cups are made of chocolate and you should eat them, immediately. Hannah also meets with her therapist, where she explains that it’s hard for Adam to contribute to the rent because he can’t have a real job – you just can’t put him into a slot like that. He’s a CREATIVE.
She doesn’t bring up the whole Natalia incident, which I would be super freaked out about – instead, she plans a taco and ice cream party for her friends. Adam doesn’t want to hang out with them, like ever, but grudgingly agrees, so we get to see the four of them – Hannah, Adam, Marnie, and Shosh -do their version of interaction, which basically means every person thinks and talks about themselves and pretends to care about the others.
Marnie is torn up about Charlie, because apparently one minute they were shopping for grilled pizza ingredients and the next he had vanished. She’s crashing with her mom and also working at Ray’s coffeehouse, so clearly big things are happening for her. Shosh is now in her senior year of college, and focused on having flings and finishing her schoolwork.
Back at rehab, Jessa tries to make amends to Laura, by, um, giving Laura her first real Sapphic experience. When a counselor sees them, the director has had it and gives Jessa the boot. She also wonders if Jessa is a sociopath – fair question, people. And guess who Jessa calls for rescue? Yep, Hannah is her go to, which means…awkward and uncomfortable road trip with Hannah, Adam and Shosh.
Not a lot happens on the road trip, honestly, and Hannah is upset by this; she wants the trip to be more like a metaphor, so she can write about it, but turkey bacon and rocking chair souvenirs are kind of bland. In their shared hotel room that night, Adam is charming as ever, insisting he needs to have sex before he can sleep, so poor Shosh leaves and hangs out by the vending machines. Hannah joins her and the two talk about Jessa. Shosh thinks, because of Jessa’s beauty and charm, that Jessa will always be fine, but Hannah points out that Jessa actually has a deep well of sadness within her that most people can’t see.
While Jessa is waiting for her crew to pick her up, she’s been bonding with an older dude at rehab, someone she can make fun of all the other rehabbers with. That is, until the calm, wise demeanor he’s been displaying thus far breaks (he’s run out of his secret stash of pills) and he tries to force himself on her in a pitiable display.
When the gang arrives at rehab, Hannah finds out that Jessa could have left at any time and didn’t need a ride – quelle surprise. Hannah confronts Jessa for that, for just vanishing off the face of the earth, for generally being a shitty friend, but Jessa compliments Hannah’s hair and that is the key, people. Hair compliments are the balm to soothe any troubled soul. Seriously, Jessa is so that toxic friend that you hate but she’s just so unpredictable, and fun, right? There should be a rehab for Jessa addiction that Hannah can go to.
And so, the girls of Girls are still mired in hateful, self-centered, and solipsistic worlds. It’s a really engaging place to visit; I’m just glad I don’t have to live there.
Readers: Are you a Girls fan? Did you want more Amy Schumer? And is Adam a wretched deviant or a sort-of genius?
Videos and photos via HBO
Amity writes and teaches in Central PA. Her obsessions include: Rodarte (she can’t afford any Rodarte, mind you, but a girl can dream), espresso, books, vintage/thrift fashion and fountain pens. She thinks you should dress like a weirdo once in a while, just to shake things up.