Omg, have you guys seen the latest installment of VH1’s trashtastic series Rock of Love? I can’t believe I’m writing about my shameful viewing habits, but this show is just too good not to share! While I’ve been seduced into watching some of the more tacky and cheesy reality shows (I’m looking at you Celebrity Rehab and The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search), the ROL Bus premier episode managed to make them all pale in comparison. I watched while cringing, ewwing and hiding behind a pillow for the entire 90 minutes of the episode, but there was no way I would change the channel.
In case your not familiar with the show, Bret Michaels (lead singer of 80’s hair band Poison) plays “the Bachelor” role while getting to know (i.e. has sex with) and dating (i.e. has sex with) an assortment of strippers, groupies and breast enhanced, inflated-lipped, blondes to find his one true Rock of Love. Romantic, no? Since the first two “winners” didn’t stick, we’re getting round three and the producers at ROL had quite a brainstorm. “What happens if we put all of these insecure, high maintenance and slightly deranged girls in tight quarters that they can’t escape (tour buses) and then ply them with alcohol?” Answer: one hot mess of awesome!
Since the show will be rerun (and rerun and rerun) over the next week, I don’t want to spoil too much of the hair-raising hilarity but here’s a quick run down of what you should expect: fake boobs, drinking, puking, puke-tinged tongue kisses, asses, more fake boobs, girl on girl kissing, terrible hair extensions, make-up guns set to whore, a mean girls “blondtourage”, name calling, hair pulling, a bitch choking a bitch, needy ex porn stars, girls falling down drunk, names like “Brittanya,” “Constandina” and “DJ Lady Tribe”, fake boobs and one contestant reciting rap lyrics scrawled on an STD fact sheet. My favorite line of the night “I’m a centerfold model for Penthouse and I’m the classiest one here” is both funny and true. If your still not convinced, I have two words for you: (and this is the politest way of phrasing it) Vagina Shots.
So, if you like to watch tv where you can laugh at others while feeling smug about how smart you are and how much worse your life could be (which is why I watch these things), I highly recommend Rock of Love Bus Edition.