It’s no secret we enjoy some trashy reality television shows at we heart this. Thanks to wht member Mickey, our forums always have a hilarious take on our favorite train wreck series. (Her wrap up posts on Rock Of Love Bus are awesome!) So, we invited Mickey to share her thoughts on the latest jewel in the VH1 empire, Charm School 3, premiering Monday, May 11th. She’ll be back after episode 1 to rap up all the sordid details. And don’t forget to check in the forums once the season starts to discuss the dirt with other lowbrow TV loving wht members.
Because I just love a good hooker with a heart of gold story, I will tune into yet another VH1 reality show fiasco called Charm School 3 when it premieres because I just can’t help myself. I’m a reality show junkie and I need my fix.
The current season of Charm School has a fresh new headmistress Ricki Lake and will include some of the skank-o-riffic girls from Rock of Love Bus (ROLB) and Real Chance of Love (RCOL). Ricki Lake is no Sharon Osbourne (Charm School 2), but I think she can handle anything that these “ladies” will throw at her due to her lengthy tenure on the trash-talk-show circuit.
If you are not familiar with the premise of the show, it is simple: take a group of nasty, slutty, whorish girls from other VH1 reality shows and attempt to turn them into refined ladies. Ricki Lake and her team of advisors will teach the group lessons and one of them will be eliminated each week for either not taking the schooling to heart or for fighting, spitting, hair-pulling or whatever else these ladies can pull from their personal arsenals of shame. The winner will be the one who shows the most growth throughout the season and will be monetarily rewarded. A Pygmalion/My Fair Lady for the ages. Nah. That might be giving VH1 a little too much credit.
From the previews that I’ve seen already, I must say that Ricki Lake looks SLAMMIN’!!!! (Check out her fierce pose at right – photos from VH1 Blog) Since she is our barometer for class and grace and dignity this season, let me introduce (or reintroduce) you to the bevy of big-breasted, foul-mouthed, oft-pierced and tattooed divas that will be joining Ricki on the express train to hell known as Charm School 3. From ROLB we have Ashley, Beverly, Brittaney, Brittanya, Farrah, Gia, Nathasha and Marcia. If you don’t remember who these girls are, you can check out their pics and bios on VH1.com, but to highlight the site: Farrah is wearing a “Blondourage” t-shirt spelled incorrectly, no “t” in Blondtourage, and Marcia is wearing a “YOUR GOING DOWN” t-shirt, contractually incorrect. But let’s not show the future hos of America that it’s okay to be illiterate. T-shirts don’t have spell-check. The trick is to be SMARTER than the t-shirt. At least Marcia has an excuse since English is her second language…I’m assuming that Farrah traded her brains to the Wizard for her GIMUNGOUS implants. Moving on.
From RCOL, which I confess that I did watch sporadically, we have BayBayBay, Bubbles, KiKi, K.O., Risky and So Hood. I have no idea how these girls were named, but for the sake of argument let us suppose that Real and Chance knew them better than we do and tagged them accordingly. From what I could see in the pictures on VH1.com, they all look like (and are “named” like) attendees at a Vegas Stripper Convention. However, I wouldn’t recognize any of them if I tripped over them in a drunken stupor – except maybe Bay3 and Risky, who were on the finale of RCOL and were unceremoniously dumped by I Love New York’s sloppy seconds Real and Chance. None of the other girls piques my interest or even warrants a mention.
I’ll be honest, I was so let down by the last half of Rock of Love Bus that I can only hope that I won’t be as equally down trodden with all of the “talent” on Charm School 3. I have NO idea why I heart shows like this…maybe because they make me feel better about my own life? Maybe because it makes my own escapades as a 20-something seem tame by comparison? Who knows. Who cares? They sure are fun to watch! See you on the forums.