Is it just me, or does it seem like Hannah and Adam are venturing into functioning adult territory right now? It makes me feel almost maternal, a cranky Generation X-er reaching across the Millennial divide and patting their heads in pride – “Look at you two, with your real jobs and goals and communication skills.” Of course, you win some, you lose some: Marnie is stuck in hopelessly self-involved purgatory, joined by Elijah, while Jessa’s sober train careens off the tracks and Shosh goes back to being a motor-mouthed third wheel.
As for the tension of last week’s Girls episode? It’s abated, ostensibly…looks like the girls have decided to shove it under the metaphorical rug (don’t you hate it when your friendship-rug gets all lumpy from the secrets stuffed underneath?). Hannah is self-importantly waiting to interview Patty LuPone (last seen as the fundamentalist nutbag on American Horror Story Coven) for Conde Nast; when Patty cancels, Hannah tracks her down and convinces her to do a quick interview. Except it’s not really an interview, because Hannah works in the advertorial portion of GQ – it’s more of a “Let’s talk about the osteoporosis that you really don’t have, as this spread is sponsored by a bone-building med.”
Meanwhile, Adam is busy waiting to audition for a Shaw play. He strikes up a conversation with fellow actor Desi and totally says “I’m not here to make friends.” Oh my gosh, can you IMAGINE Adam on a reality show? I feel like this needs to happen, somehow. Anyway, Adam actually lands the part…Broadway, y’all! His obvious delight is pretty cute to behold, especially when he stuffs paper towels in his mouth so he can “quietly” joy-scream in the bathroom, after his audition. Adam has grown on me more and more…there’s just the matter of the Natasha incident that always taints him for me. Nonetheless, I am legit happy for him. Desi lands his own role, and the two ride off together.
When Adam calls Hannah to give her the news (OK, and can I just ask, in what world do you interrupt an interview with PATTY FREAKING LUPONE to take a call from your boyfriend? Seriously) Patty can’t help but overhear. She immediately plants seeds of doubt in Hannah’s fragile mind and warns her what happens to impressionable young actors: “He’s not going to know you exist, if he’s sexual in any way.” Um, Adam and sex are like peanut butter and jelly (a dark, twisted PB &J, mind you) so yeah, that might be a problem. Hannah lovingly explains that Adam is not exactly conventionally handsome, but Patty tells her that even the Elephant Man got laid…a lot.
Back at the GQ offices, Hannah is in shock over how much her paycheck is. It’s totally more than her rent, people! Plus, her editor assigns her to stay at the Gramercy Park Hotel to do a listicle advertorial, so Hannah decides to throw a celebratory party for Adam. First, though, we get to witness the further downfall of Marnie.
Girlfriend is just drowning her sorrows in fro-yo when she runs into Soonjin, Booth’s old assistant. I’m really glad Soonjin isn’t a regular character, because she drove me insane for the three minutes she was onscreen. At any rate, Soonjin is just, you know, throwing her own gallery together in Noho; it’s cool, but she’s so busy she literally can’t breathe. You can see Marnie’s fury and jealousy threatening to erupt on her face, but she manages to keep it together – although she does tack on a super awkward, passive aggressive one-armed hug at the end.
Even worse, when Marnie goes to her secret boyfriend Ray’s apartment, he promptly dumps her. Even though they weren’t ever really together, Ray has to end it…”I need a REAL girlfriend,” he tells her. Thank Gawd he came to his senses on this, right? Marnie’s comeback is pretty good: “You can’t break up with me, Ray. I don’t care about this. I wouldn’t be eating pizza in front of you if I actually liked you.” Importantly, she takes the pizza with her as she storms out.
And where’s Jessa in all of this? BORED OUT OF HER MIND – like, so bored that she climbs into the shop window at work, fashions a noose for the mannequin, and desperately harangues the delivery guy to stay and talk to her. And so, when Jasper-the-icky-Brit-from-rehab shows up, she quickly capitulates to his very questionable “charms.” By charms I mean cocaine, obviously.
Back at the Gramercy, Hannah and Elijah are getting ready for the party. Hannah is still questioning Adam’s future fidelity, egged on by Elijah and Shosh. When Adam and Desi arrive, both Shosh and Elijah are star struck by Desi; as Shosh puts it, “I recognize you from your part in ‘One Tree Hill.’ You played Lennon the disabled hockey player.” Sometimes, you just have to love what comes out of Shosh’s mouth. Elijah is busy cornering Adam, basically telling an alcoholic that he’ll need to ingratiate himself with all the other actors and enmesh himself in the bar scene to make it. I’m pretty sure Adam would kill Elijah in like a desert island situation, right?
When a teary Marnie finally arrives, she can’t tell Hannah why she’s upset, but she accepts a hug and pulls herself together. Now, I may have been feeling a teensy bit sad for Marnie, but that was immediately ruined when she began singing along with Desi – it was just so Marnie-ish and attention seeking. Hannah isn’t charmed by the Marni/Desi duet, either. She looks at Elijah and says, “Are you f****** kidding me?” Elijah responds, “I hate myself for loving him.” Desi and Marnie exchange emails, but Desi has to leave to go make paella, so we’ll have to wait and see what happens.
Jessa and Jasper show up, and they might seem slightly more charming than other people do when they’re on coke, but that’s only ‘cause their British. Jasper thinks Shosh is on coke, too, but she points out she’s just a fast talker. When the coke and the money run out, Jessa takes Jasper to her shop and steals some cash. Oh, Jessa, I don’t even care anymore.
Lastly, in a tub scene that felt authentically sweet and real, Hannah confesses her worries to Adam. She just wants him to love her, and to be happy with their life together – the polite way of saying “Please don’t leave me for a bevy of Broadway beauties.” Adam reassures her, they move on, and he recites lines from his new role in a sassy accent. Let’s just hope this is a harbinger of good things to come for these two.
Fashion: Hannah rocked her new “making it rain with my paycheck” dress, Jessa wore such a deep V it turned into a U, and Shosh styled a giant pompadour/cinnamon bun creation with typical Shosh panache.
Readers – Do you think Adam’s new success will drive a wedge between him and Hannah? Was anyone upset by Jessa’s “relapse?” And would you ever, ever, dis Patty LuPone by taking a call from your man during an interview?
Photo via HBO
Amity writes and teaches in Central PA. Her obsessions include: Rodarte (she can’t afford any Rodarte, mind you, but a girl can dream), espresso, books, vintage/thrift fashion and fountain pens. She thinks you should dress like a weirdo once in a while, just to shake things up.