Scary Movie Series: Evil Babies

Scary Movie Series: Evil Babies

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It’s Halloween and that means one thing: time for another Scary Movies series!

So your baby is the anti-Christ or a lesser demon…

I don’t have kids. I probably won’t have any, either–I’m at that age where I probably have about 5 eggs left and they’re not exactly the over-achievers that are going to attend Yale should I fertilize them. But that’s okay, my daily Facebook feed is filled with complaints by my contemporaries; lamenting Common Core Math and the cost of braces. One thing I don’t hear many parents complain about is that their child is pure evil, as in the kid is the devil or just plain demonic. Keep reading for my movie recommendations about babies from hell!

1. Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
You know what’s worse than stretch marks? Giving birth to the son of Satan. True story. Poor Rosemary (Mia Farrow) gets roofied and impregnated by Satan in exchange for her actor husband’s career advancement. That seems like a small price to pay. The best scene ever is the ending: “He has his father’s eyes.” Oh noes!

2. Child of Darkness Child of Light [VHS] (1991)
Based on the book Cradle and All by James Patterson, this made-for-tv movie is one of my favorites. Two teenage virgins are pregnant; one girl is pregnant with the child of God while the other girl is pregnant with the anti-Christ. Fun Facts: Brendan Fraser (The Mummy) has a bit part in this movie as a lacrosse teammate of the wealthy girl’s rumored boyfriend. The rumored boyfriend is played by Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama).

(Editor’s note: Talk about rare, you can only buy this on VHS! Or, watch the whole movie on the link above.)

3. Blessed (2004)
Heather Graham plays Samantha, a young teacher desperate to have a baby with her writer husband (played by James Purefoy of Resident Evil). They receive fertility treatments to conceive from The Spiritus Research Clinic. Of course they injected her husband’s sperm with the devil’s DNA and she’s having the child of Satan. Oh, wait, it’s twins! The children of Satan! Fun Fact: Thanks to this movie, I now know babies get fingernails at 4 months–YIKES!

4. Born (2007)
Alison Brie (Community, Mad Men) plays Mary Elizabeth, a virgin who gets impregnated by a demon and has to murder 6 people so the anti-Christ can be born and the demon can escape the pit. It sounds convoluted, but just go with it, folks. If you haven’t seen this wonderfully craptastic movie, you really need to. It’s just so atrociously bad that it starts to become good. This fake trailer shows you what you’re missing. Can you say “magical”?

5. Hell Baby (2013)
A woman (Leslie Bibb of Popular) and her husband (Rob Corddry of Childrens Hospital and Warm Bodies) are an expectant couple who just purchased what I like to call a “Murder House” in New Orleans. The house is possessed and soon so is the wife and their babies. This is a horror comedy, so if you need a chuckle, this one’s for you!

6. Devil’s Due (2014)
This found footage-style horror movie follows the story of newlyweds the McCalls (Allison Miller; Zach Gilford of Friday Night Lights), who go to the Dominican Republic on their honeymoon. On their last night, they pass out after taking a taxi to a club and they wake up not remembering the night’s events. Shortly afterwards, the wife discovers she is pregnant. It’s a honeymoon baby. Strange occurrences surround her pregnancy and let’s just say it doesn’t end well. It rhymes with planti-riced.

So there you have it, my top picks for evil babies/demon babies/birthing an Anti-Christ movies. I hope you’ve seen some of these —did any of your favorites make the cut? Let’s hear about it!

6 thoughts on “Scary Movie Series: Evil Babies”

  1. Dear lord, I cannot believe Trudy is in that Born movie–it looks fricking hilarious! Rosemary’s Baby is such a classic, but that’s the only one I’ve seen on this list. The other horrifying baby that springs to mind is the one in Eraserhead!

  2. I love Rosemary’s Baby! I love that the look on Mia Farrow’s face is so much scarier than actually seeing the demon baby would have been.
    I watched the Born trailer twice. That has to be the worst (best) devil baby movie ever made! Bonus points for Trudy.

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