Because Red Teeth are Never Cute, There's Wine Wipes...

Because Red Teeth are Never Cute, There’s Wine Wipes…

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Have Your Wine, And Drink It Too (Without the Stains, Without the Straw)

Wine is my beverage of choice. White is my color of choice…for my teeth. Unfortunately, if you drink red wine, you’ll likely never have white teeth again. Oh, the shame of meeting new friends in your toothy purple grin! It doesn’t have to be so, though. Borracha created Wine Wipes just so you aren’t forced to drink vodka sodas or Sauvignon Blancs when all you really want is a nice Cabernet.

Kimberly Walker, an avid drinker of red wine, founded Borracha, makers of Wine Wipes. She created an all-natural recipe to remove red wine stains from teeth while simultaneously protecting the enamel from wine’s naturally occurring acids. Brilliant. Somehow, no one thought to do this before. Necessity is truly the mother of invention!

Truth be told, red wines used to be my favorite. I liked earthy, well-balanced Bordeaux’s the best. But the purple teeth thing got to be too much. I switched to minerally Sancerre and crisp Brut Champagnes in order to save my teeth (and a tiny bit because of the headaches reds would give me). My palette adjusted. Today, red wine for me is reserved for that rare pairing with a juicy steak, or as a nightcap on a cold winter’s night. But what if I could have it all? When my Wine Wipes arrived, I said “yes” to filet mignon and a hefty, brick red Bordeaux on my next night out.

Wine Wipes are available in a compact with 15 wipes ($6.39), or as individually wrapped wipes ($8.95 for a box of 12).

When I swished, tasted and consumed enough red wine to produce a fair amount of stain on my teeth and tongue, I absconded to the restroom to pull out my Wine Wipes and get to work. Right off the bat I would say that the small round compact filled with the stack wet wipes is a tad bit awkward. It was hard to peel off just one…so I took two. I needed both for my first try anyway. (I much preferred the individually wrapped travel wipes, which were a bit larger as well.)

Travel size Wine Wipes, about twice as big as the compact size

The scent was not apparent to me at first. It seemed a little fruity, a little sweet. Once I started scrubbing my teeth and gums, I tasted a bit of sweet and salty. Certainly, this was not a bad taste, but not something I’d crave (like say, caramel corn). The “flavor” is actually orange blossom, and the sweetness comes from sorbitol and orange juice. Sodium and hydrogen peroxide clean the teeth (and give it that wee tinge of saltiness). I was worried that this “flavor” would ruin the rest of the glass of still waiting for me. Not so. Wine Wipes were designed with a sommelier just so they won’t ruin your palette, and therefore, the enjoyment of your wine. All good!

I scrubbed my tongue as well as my teeth. The wipes were a little less effective here. Then again, the wipes are made for teeth and they do an excellent job with those. All in all, kudos for the fresh-brushed look that didn’t interfere with further consumption. Like brushing your teeth, I do recommend excusing yourself from the table to use these. I’m pretty sure no one wants to watch this at a restaurant or dinner party!

While I personally remain a devotee of crisp whites and sparkling wines for regular consumption, it’s good to have choices. Wine Wipes are definitely a good choice.

Now, if they only wiped away headaches…

Editor’s note: A quick shout out to ONEHOPE wine, the co-star in all these photos. They were as delicious as they are beautiful! Especially the Edna Valley Pinot Noir red glitter bottle. Could there be a better wine to give as a gift? Plus, they’re do-gooders; the company has made over 2 million dollars in donations to date.

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